Notes from the Road
Part Eight: Cleveland
Important reader poll: The person who made my latte did NOT put a heart in the foam. Should I leave them my phone number?
I honestly have no idea how humans get together. I’ve done it thousands hundreds dozens of times, and yet, it remains a mystery.
Also, I worry that hooking up with someone else will effect my relationship with Ryan. I know that the point of polyamory is to be able to eat any flavor ice cream in the freezer without the Vanilla Swiss Almond getting jealous (I mean, I know that’s not the point of polyamory, but it’s a defining characteristic. It’s an “acceptable” behavior.). But what if I taste another flavor and it effects the way I feel about Vanilla Swiss Almond? Like, what if I’m like, Man, I really love eating Vanilla Swiss Almond, like, a lot, but I didn’t realize how much I would like Butter Pecan and now I want more Butter Pecan? I suppose only having three weeks in Cleveland precludes any chance of getting addicted to Butter Pecan. And who knows, maybe I could go back to Vanilla Swiss Almond next time and be like, There’s this cool other flavor I tried and I thought you might want to mix in some of its ingredients. Then I would have my favorite flavor with a swirl of something else delicious.
I flew to NYC on my day off to sing at a fundraiser for an organization that supports amateur musicians. The youngest performer was an 8-year-old girl in a communion dress that Jesus would have been embarrassed by. I ran into her and her family in the elevator on the way to the concert hall. Somehow, over the course of the three-minute elevator ride her mother managed to inform me that her daughter had played a concert with Yo-Yo Ma the night before. By the end of the evening her mother had managed to inform me of this fact no less than five times. But always in this “non-braggy,” “she’s tired because she played with Yo-Yo Ma last night” kind of way. During the concert, after she performed, she sat backstage stock still, doing nothing. I asked her if she had fun and she gave an almost imperceptible nod. I didn’t pursue any further conversation with her. Her mother came backstage with her 5-year-old sister (who, incidentally, plays the cello, but didn’t play with Yo-Yo Ma last night.) and ran around for a while talking about how much her younger daughter eats. “She just eats and eats and eats! And she loves sushi!” And some other woman said, “Well, at least sushi won’t make her fat!”
She’s going to have to use the money her little cash cows make for all the therapy they’re going to need.
I’m not at the point in the tour where I’m starting to legitimately freak out about what I’m going to do when the tour ends. Who am I kidding? I started worrying about that the day I got cast. I was holding out hope that Sarah Steele would book the gig of a lifetime that would make her unavailable for the L.A. run, but that’s looking less and less likely. It used to be summer was a quiet time, but now with all the streaming services, there’s plenty of work to be had in the summer. So maybe something will come along. I’d love to take Monty on some kind of cool vacation. Like renting a van and driving around the country for a month. Or jetting off to Ireland or something. But I’m so terrified of being poor that I can’t bring myself to spend that kind of money. What if I never work again?