I want to talk about this photo.
I was writing a whole philosophical tome on what this photo means to me, and what posting it in public means to me, and on the cultural implications of why I would WANT to post this picture in public, and why I would hesitate at all the post this picture, and how many men I see all the time with all kinds of bodies with their shirts off, and how people react different to women's and men's naked bodies, and how people react differently to the sizes and shapes and colors of different women's bodies, and what it means to be a woman alive in this moment in history, and what it means to be a female actor, and the pressure I felt to lose weight after I had my son and the consequences that had on my ability to feed him, and the struggles I've had with my weight, and with muscles that grow "too big," and with my "gymnast's build," and about how many strangers have felt comfortable commenting on my body, and what it means to be objectified, and about being catcalled by firemen when I was 13 years old, and how exciting and demoralizing that was, and the shame and pride I feel at how my body looks, and what it means to feel shame or pride in how one's body looks, and how I have felt like my body belongs to anyone but me for most of my life, and what all that says about the Patriarchy and how invasive and destructive it is.
But here's what I'll say instead: If I didn't know this woman, and I brought her home, and she got undressed for me, I would worship at her feet, and thank her for the PRIVILEGE to be anywhere near her, and I would spend the next few DAYS focusing on each inch of her body, and tell her how much beauty and magic was in it. I would run my hand along that crease in her back and thank it for being there. I would marvel at her broad shoulders, I would weep at her ass. And if she shared with me any of the shame she has felt over the years at her body, I would take it all away and hand it all to the next shirtless man I came across and tell him to live with it.
This is my body in a pair of ridiculous and wholly impractical underwear. It is mine, and I am determined to love it as though it were not my own. And even more than that.